I have reiterated this before, but society is a lot like a herd of sheep, nobody generally wants to break the path of the herd and separate themselves in fear of being lost or outcasted. Just like sheep, we feel vulnerable when we break from that zone of comfort in pursing passions that may seem somewhat unrealistic.
It sure does not help that most of those in your inner circle, if not all, will not give you an ounce of support or provide confidence when it comes to you taking a risk. This is okay, there is a quote that has been posted before on the PRIM8TE Instagram account, it states " not everyone will understand your journey. That's okay. You're here to live your life, not to make everyone understand".
I first came across this quote at 19 years old while scrolling through Facebook, and to be honest, I can truly say that I had never given a fuck as to what anybody thought of me. Although looking back it is because I was pretty much already outcasted from the pack without a choice, not everybody has this luxury.
Why do I refer to this as a luxury? I learned to do things where I couldn't have given a single fuck about what people thought about me, I still don't. For instance, I never drank unless it was the occasional beer, never smoked, didn't party, and sure as hell was not hanging out with people to prove my worth and climb the social ladder. I dealt with a lot of "you're lame, you're a loser, a nobody, a bore", and it goes on. I spent Friday and Saturday nights training, chilling with friends by a bonfire pit, watching fights, or spending time with family.
It is harder for people that have been apart of a group all throughout their life (the cool kid's table in high-school, the fraternity in University, the parent with insane connections). Say you go to start a business, I guarantee if the group is egotistical and insecure, they are going to do their very best to reassure you that starting a business and risking something is a horrible decision, and you will probably agree out of fear and live life without pursuing anything challenging.
I get asked questions a lot, well what do you think so-and-so will think if I do this without them. If I quit my current job with my friend to pursue a personal business or if I forget about going to university to pursue something outside of academics, won't they be upset, will they reject or forget about me? The simple answer to that, WHO GIVES A FUCK!
It sounds cutthroat, and that's because it is ... if your inner circle has a problem with you pursuing a passion, or striving for goals you've set, fuck em, fuck em all. Before you know it you are locked into a full-time career and you missed your chance to do something you actually love because of Chad, who you no longer talk to, but he was from your high school friend group and convinced you that buying 800$ worth of tee shirts for your brand idea was a terrible investment and would set you back ....... thanks Chad (sarcasm**).
The reality is, yes taking a step into the dark can be quite horrifying, it can also be very rewarding. I invested in a business when I was 22, I lost 2000$, never made that money back, yes I was pissed, yes I fucking wanted to lose my shit on my business partner, did I stare at my bank account and cry a little, yes, but we move on and we live to see another day. We learn a lot from failing and taking risks, but it does not mean because you fail you should start worrying what everyone thinks and jump back into that herd of sheep and go right back to your safe zone.
Some moron told me three years ago, "Prim8te is such a stupid name, it sounds like Primate-te-te, major marketing flaw there, good luck with that business" ........ I legit was only a year in and this random dude comes along and makes me question the name choice for a second or two. Well, I didn't listen, nor should I have, but there is always going to be someone making you second guess, making you feel like you made the wrong decision, like you took a risk worth nothing. At the end of the day, they were too cowardly to break apart from the pack, which is why they are so damn miserable and critical of others.
In summary, if you want to pursue something you feel strongly about, strategize and get after it. Fuck what everyone else thinks, break apart from the pack.
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Continuing from Part 1, let's start this off with three words, remain "fucking" unbreakable. The most important thing I learned from being bullied and abused, you can't show your true emotions, you simply cannot break. Now don't get me wrong, everyone breaks even a little bit, breaks are what allow us to become stronger and to prevent it further. Although, the last thing you want to do is show that asshole what they are achieving by tormenting you, and as much as it sucks and you probably want to flip the hell out, calm yourself, breathe and move forward.
At 16 I began to understand more about controlling my emotions, the more self-aware I was, the more confident and resilient I became. There were a few adults who were parents apart of the team I played for, they loved to give me subtle jabs, to scream at me, and to make excuses as to why it was necessary to discipline me. I put up with it for a long time, but at 16 I was maturing and decided to put an end to it.
It started with one day, a parent/team manager yelling at me, and I remember he just kept yelling, screaming in my ear during a game. Out of all the other players, he singled me out, trying to get in my head. I remember slowly turning around near the side and got face to face with him, and I just simply said: "go fuck yourself". His eyes went wide, and because he was a little weasel, he had nothing to say in response to that. Of course, I received some backlash but I didn't give a shit.
Assholes will be assholes, and the best thing any parent can teach their child not only in athletics but for life, is remain unbreakable and never show your emotions. By showing your emotions, I mean in displaying your frustration in front of the people that want to see you fail. There are points where you have to hold your ground, and giving it back is logical. In spite of that, I can't tell you how many people wanted to see me fail, to see me crack and breakdown, but never once did I show it. That was the one thing I prided myself in, I never let my emotions get the best of me.
Yet this is the one thing I see still in adults and kids through sports and life, people constantly let assholes get in their heads, and you may not think your visibly showing it, but it is obvious as fuck. If they want to be an asshole to you, fuck them, let them know what you are about and obviously don't take their shit, but... do not let them get the better of you, it is not worth your precious time and energy. Now if they hurt or do something to torment someone you love or care about, different story, break them.
When I turned 17, after boxing for so many years, I made the decision to pursue Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I was tired of the bullshit in team sports and I wanted a humble athletic environment and a complete challenge. There is nothing quite like a grown-ass adult with cauliflower ears crushing the shit out of a 17-year-old, making you tap so much you could've been playing the bongos. Jiu-Jitsu was the hardest thing I had done, physically and mentally it pushes you to breaking points you never thought existed, for example, being stacked so hard that your neck feels like it wants to snap, and all your oxygen has simply left your body. If you want to start jiu-jitsu, it is amazing, but get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I dedicated years to the sport, training twice a day, almost every day for the first 2 years, then continued to train for longer periods but only once a day as I entered University. I had competed at the World Jiu-Jitsu Championships, I competed in a few super fights, as well as many competitions.
Jiu-Jitsu gave me a stronger sense of self-confidence, it gave me a perspective on humility and reassured that what you look like, means fuck all, to be good at jiu-jitsu you have to do more jiu-jitsu. I worked my ass off to get good at the sport in such a condensed period of time, I was incredibly passionate about it. Unfortunately, I was still in school and was not entirely sure I wanted to be a broke 18-year-old athlete. I still train daily and compete every so often, but jiu-jitsu is not the be all and end all of my life.
Being extremely hard-headed in the sense that if you told me I could not do something, I have always felt that I would do everything in my ability to shut you the hell up. I had a lot of anger built up in me from over the years, which I learned to channel into positive energy, which is why grappling was such a good environment for myself.
In my second year of University, it was clear I did not fit in whatsoever, for starters I was getting a degree because it would keep my mother quiet for a little bit till I figured my life out. I took the most random degree possible, and when I did attend lectures, I fell asleep in them.
I was hovering right above academic probation, I hated every second of school and I had no passion for my program. There was one thing I knew, I wanted to be my own boss and I wanted to create something others would resonate with. The more time I spent around University students, the more I felt as though I did not belong in this trapped environment.
Once Prim8te had become an idea, I worked on it 24/7. In lectures when I was supposed to be taking notes I was planning out the business. When I was home, instead of studying I was designing the logos and a website. Prim8te was all I wanted to do, that and jiu jitsu, and I knew to make it work, school would have to come second.
What I found ironic is I worked jobs completely irrelevant to business just to make the money I needed to survive and start my dream. The amount of mind numbingly boring and exhausting labour jobs I took to make money was incredible, one of them being literally shovelling shit for pay a little above minimum wage.
I ended up reading books on business, digital marketing, taking courses online for free, learning anything and everything about how to grow a brand. I thought about switching to a business program, but didn't have the marks for it. So I just kept reaching out to business people with questions, teaching myself and learning through trial by error.
It was hilarious to walk the university atrium and see all the business students in their fancy suits with their slicked hair. So many of them had such an arrogance about themselves, like they were going to be the next Jordan Belfort. Fuck that, I didn't want to wear suits, sell bullshit to full of shit people, I wanted to change the industry of apparel and establish my brands mentality. I knew exactly how I wanted to build Prim8te and I knew I was for sure as hell not going to be doing it in a suit.
My last year or so of university after Prim8te had got off the ground, I was 21 years old and I pretty much stopped showing up for lectures. Prim8te was growing fast, and it was because I was not just another full of shit brand owner with a fake past. I have always said things the way they are, and this will never change. People started to resonate with the mentality, with my past, with the resilient attitude, it was a surreal feeling. I may not have been a business student, but I understand people, and people are tired of the same old regurgitated bullshit apparel brands selling you motivation and alpha male mentalities, fuck those assholes.
There are so many wannabe brand owners, entrepreneurs and CEO's out there, yet they forget the most important thing. The community that surrounds and molds your business, the Prim8te following is fucking incredible and I cannot be more thankful for the support over the past years. I love hearing your stories, or getting random messages about how you resonate with the Prim8te mentality. The mentality connects us all, but the savages that carry the name are the ones who helped build this community.
I pretty much threw myself into the business world, contacting suppliers, gym owners, sponsoring athletes who I thought would represent the brand properly. There was no such thing as a comfort zone, no limits, no time to waste, everyday I layout an agenda and it has to be completed. If something goes wrong, do not feel sorry for yourself, find a solution, move forward. If you are a young business owner especially, nobody gives a fuck about you, nor does anyone think you'll succeed.
So to finish this blog post off, the last piece of advice, and one crucial thing I have learned so far from business, jiu jitsu and school, block out the noise. There will forever be some excuse, some fucker in your ear telling you that your dream is not feasible, explaining how the idea will fail, and how you are far better off working a 9-5 job you hate just to collect a pension. Use that as fuel, but brush it aside cause it never ends, and if you don't have the stomach to deal with the stress of risk or bewilderment, maybe the pension is more your route. But if you want to do something you love every single day and be one of the few who can actually say, "I achieved this", ya better start working your ass off.
Remain "Fucking" Unbreakable
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Whether it be in school, sports or at the workplace, there is always going to be some sort of asshole who wants nothing more than to make your life miserable. Unfortunately, it’s part of life and just as wolves will always hunt sheep, most people who consider themselves alphas will always want to prey on people who appear to be omegas.
At just twelve years old I had come to realize that high school was very unforgiving to a small, quiet and loner type youth such as myself. I may have been a competitive athlete, but I didn’t associate with the egotistical personalities that the others had among my discipline. Simply put I was super athletic, I excelled at every sport I ever played, but I didn’t care to be part of the cocky and popular social clicks that all my teammates had formed.
Sports and school were two different environments. Grade seven was truly a year from hell, I had become a complete outcast, had zero friends in any of my classes and when I tried to connect with old friends, my teammates rejected me out of jealousy.
I started high-school sitting alone at lunch, eating by myself every single day, there was zero confidence in myself. Weeks went by as an outcast and I quickly became a target. Not only was I verbally abused day to day by jealous, selfish, arrogant, piece of shit coaches and parents associated with my sports team, but I was also beginning to discover that high-school would become a complete nightmare.
I remember the first time I ever felt completely helpless and confused, I was simply walking down a hall to one of my classes. Walking by a group of older kids in the grade above, as I passed them one socked me in the gut with a punch out of nowhere. Never had I spoken to these guys in my life, yet they felt the need to prey on someone as small and helpless as myself. I felt the punch, but I felt my stomach sink even quicker. Legitimately scared and confused I turned around to watch them walk away laughing in their group of three.
Naturally, my mind works fast, I overanalyze and think about every single detail of an incident or task at hand. The rest of that day I couldn’t understand what in the hell had just happened and why it was me who had become the target. It didn't take long before it happened again, and again, and again, each time the abuse gradually worsening. One time I was punched by all three of those same guys, another time they ripped my backpack and threw my notebooks and drawings everywhere, another time they tried to shove me into a locker. I felt as low as I possibly could, no friends, nobody to help me, the teachers sure as hell didn’t and neither did our useless student counselors. I tried walking with groups of students to avoid being hit in the halls, I skipped lunch and went to the library to hide from the assholes in the cafeteria. None of it mattered, the bullying continued.
I went months feeling like a depressed bag of shit until finally, I broke down at home to my parents. I was containing so much anxiety and fear of being bullied every day that I began to stay home sick more frequently. Not much could be done, I spoke to a teacher, nothing was accomplished, I tried to get vocal with the bullies, that was pointless. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my stubborn, relentless, competitive and hidden aggressive attitude, I could see why so many kids battling serious depression and anxiety from being bullied have taken their lives. When there seems to be no fix, nobody who seems to care, nobody who can change the circumstance, what else are they supposed to do?
So I stopped feeling sorry for myself and I made a decision, fighting would have to be the answer. No, violence isn’t always the answer as every damn suburban, cookie-cutter adult would say, but sometimes it is a great fucking last choice. At the same time of all this, my coaches and some of my teammates were also absolute assholes to me. The coaches refused to play me when I succeeded in outshining their children, they were in my face and verbally tried to bewilder on a daily basis. I was told how pathetic, how small, and how irrelevant I was. I was a target in two environments, when the coaches were not around the kids on my team loved to play let’s hide my clothes, chirp me on my appearance, my curved spine from a form of scoliosis that I had, they did anything they could to get in my head.
What nobody knew during all of this was that at the same time, I was learning to box. My dad had me practicing almost every day, training in the basement or at a gym. I learned real basic Jiu-Jitsu chokes, how to strike hard and fast, how to defend myself against multiple people.
Sure enough, the time came to put the skills to the test. One of the kids grabbed and tried to shake me like a piggy bank, I pushed him off and without hesitation cracked him right in the mouth. That was the first time I had ever felt the raw force of my fist against a person's flesh, and it felt amazing.
The bully was completely shocked, as I stepped back with my adrenaline pumping, my fist clenched looking at what I had done, I just took off, leaving the incident as it was. That was the first step I had ever taken into reassuring I would not be fucked with anymore, or simply walked over.
I do not care what anyone thinks, yes it may have gone much differently as an adult, maybe it may have led to further problems. In life, there is only so much bullshit I want to take from other people whether I am 12, 22 or 52. I believe being vocal is a great first option, but if I try that multiple times and it still isn't working, you better believe I will rely on my physical capabilities to get the message across.
Over the next few months in high school the bullies eventually got the message, I choked out one nearly unconscious, another I fought outside of school. Eventually, I earned my space, but it wouldn't completely give me my freedom.
As I matured throughout high school and into university I became the type of person who just stopped giving a fuck as to what anyone thought about me. This phase started at 17 and molded me into who I am now.
To Be Continued...
Part 2, I will talk about my experiences with asshole adults and how to deal with them properly without letting them control or get the best of you. Maturing into a 17-year-old who began to develop the "take no shit" mentality, fullybreaking out of my shell at 20 and forcing myself into the business world. My experiences with powerlifting, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and Combat Sports. How to start doing the things YOU want to do, blocking out the noise and moving past the bullshit.
Stay Tuned, Stay Savage!
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One day I was sitting in a lecture about human evolution, there was a discussion about how humans were once primitive, how humans are essentially primates. All I remember is that the word "primate" just stuck with me that entire day, I was obsessed with it. I loved this theory of how we evolved from apes, how we were once savage creatures millions of years ago. The name "Primate" became definite, but just like the mentality, I wanted everything to be original. So I decided to place an 8 for the letter "a". The eight would represent a breed that symbolized the 8th Wonder of the World, something unique. I tried PRIM8, that just looked stupid and incomplete as a logo, it was not symmetrical. Then I tried PRIM8TE, and that with the gorilla I had sketched immediately looked like the perfect fit for this brand.
At the time I was going to University, training jiu-jitsu almost everyday and working a real shitty labor job on the side in order to save up. I cannot tell you how many people told me that this idea was a long shot and would not work, that I was wasting my time and money. Obviously I did not listen and continued to work at this idea. Firstly, I had to get 3 logos digitized and then purchase 80 hoodies to sell locally to see if this would actually catch on. I saved up, purchased the hoodies, and thankfully sold them all within the span of a month around my area to local athletes and people who took interest in the brand. The mentality as well as the designs were a big hit, and at that point I knew this would be the start of a brand new journey.
Like anything, things started off slow and required patience. When you are trying to establish a new mentality and brand among a large and ever growing market, you tend to be an outcast. People feel they cannot trust a new brand, and as much as they are intrigued, they go with their gut, and stick with what they are familiar with.
PRIM8TE was something different, I knew it and so did everyone else. The humble mentality backed by an aggressive "Take No Shit" motto was what started creating hype. Everything I say comes from the heart, the core of what I believe in. There is no egotistical bullshit, no cocky alpha personalities. It is just us being humble, confident and who we are, living everyday the way we want, standing up for the weak and taking down the cocky.
Fast forward to a year later, our social media following was growing quickly, people were taking to not only the designs but especially the mentality, and that was key. It was amazing how fast PRIM8TE started to grow, and how many people supported the mentality I was trying to share. What was said would not work, is growing more and more by the day. It is amazing to have such a supportive group of followers, without everyone this would of been a lot harder than it was! Bless! - JB
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